Great Relationships for Great Lives

Having great relationships is not simple; it requires a long process of learning and committing.

Low-quality relationships = low-quality life.

“The quality of your life is the quality of your relationships.” -Tony Robbins

Relationships are perhaps the most important foundation for your life.
If you have great relationships, there’s virtually nothing that can defeat you, or even discourage you. As prolific author Frank Crane once wrote, having a close friend “doubles every joy and halves every defeat.”
But if most of your relationships are shallow and superficial, it doesn’t matter if you have the most “successful” life imaginable — everything still rings hollow if there’s no one to celebrate with.
As part of a recent study, The National Science Foundation (NSF) asked 1,500 people how many friends they had that they could talk with about their personal troubles or triumphs.
1 in 4 said they had no one to talk with. That number doubled when they took out family members.
Two thirds of Americans say they’ve lost more than 90% of the friends they had 10 years ago. Many Americans can only claim to have 2 close friends — maybe less.

Why are most people on track to never have great relationships?

Because they can’t be bothered to learn how.

“In order to get to the next level of whatever you’re doing, you must think and act in a wildly different way than you were before.” - Grant Cardone

Most People Can’t Be Bothered to Learn How to Communicate
“When people talk, listen completely. Most people never listen.” -Ernest Hemingway
Every person loves, and wants to be loved, in 5 ways (with 1 or 2 main preferences):

• Quality time
• Physical touch
• Words of affirmation
• Acts of service
• Gifts

Everyone loves — and wants to be loved — in these 5 ways. But the reason most people continue to have mediocre relationships is because they just can’t be bothered to learn how the other person wants to be loved.

As long as you never learn how you want to receive love — and learn how those around you want to receive it — you’ll always have mediocre relationships.

Always make the first move

“The bitterest tears shed over graves are for words left unsaid and deeds left undone.” -Harriet Beecher Stowe

The meaning is simple: if you can help the relationship, then do it. Don’t wait for the other person to act (even if you don’t want to).
Most people have strained and superficial relationships with family and even with friends. This is because most people always wait for the other person to “make the first move;” say hello, organize a hangout, or apologize.
This is a pride thing. It’s one of the main killers of marriages, friendships, and even families.
If you want to have deep, meaningful relationships with your friends, family, and even just the people in your day-to-day life, make the first move — even if it should be them. Be the first to:

• Initiate the conversation
• Send the first text
• Say you miss them
• Say you love them
• Apologize and ask for forgiveness
• Organize a hangout
• Compliment them
• Thank them
• Tell them you appreciate what they did

If you want deeply fulfilling relationships, you must give from yourself.
Give your time, attention, energy, love, and focus towards building and nurturing that relationship.
The individuals who do this are rare. But anyone who chooses to build their relationships like this are the ones who will have deep, meaningful relationships.

All that is required is action

“Almost every problem people face in their lives are all the result of not taking enough action.” - Grant Cardone

If you want to upgrade your relationships from mediocre to extraordinary, you must take actions you’ve never taken before. Grant Cardone went on to write, “Success is just one of the byproducts of those who take the most action.”
Want incredible relationships, best friends, and an amazing partner?
Then take more action than you ever have before.
If you want to upgrade your relationships from mediocre to extraordinary, then spend a lot of time, focus, and energy on making yourself better.

Love happens from listening to each other’s music

Communication is the most critical ingredient of any type of relationship. Yet today’s world has so much noise, we have all forgotten how to listen.
The  lack of attention and desire for brevity damages our relationships. Executive summaries do not develop empathy. Impatience impedes necessary bond building.
The best gift we can give each other is the patience to hear each other’s full stories without distraction or judgment. This is how we connect to one another in romance, business, and friendship.
People leave each other when they don’t truly know (or want to know) one another. As mentioned in the book The Little Prince, in order to know someone, you must “tame” them. It takes time to “tame” someone. But in the taming and the knowing, you may just come to love them.
My Listening tips

• Turn off your phone
• Be present
• Give the conversation time
• Stay curious
• Keep an open, non judgmental mind
• Have love in your eyes

In Conclusion

“The measure we gave was the measure we got back.” -Alcoholics Anonymous

The amount of energy, focus, and care you put into making yourself better is proportionate to the level of relationships you’ll have.
If you don’t invest in yourself…
If you don’t bother to learn how to communicate…
If you don’t care enough to learn how your loved ones want to be loved…
You’ll always have mediocre relationships.
If you want amazing, high-quality relationships that will last for decades, you need to take action to learn how to do that. Take care of yourself, and heal what’s preventing you from connecting.